How to Talk to Someone You Love About Therapy (Without Pushing Them Away)

If you’re worried about someone you love and wondering how to bring up therapy without making them feel judged or pushed away, you’re not alone. Many people search for ways to encourage a friend, romantic partner, or family member to get help - but it’s hard to know what to say or how to say it.

In this guide, we’ll walk through how to approach the conversation with empathy, care, and respect. Whether this person has never tried therapy or had a bad experience in the past, these tools can help you speak up in a way that supports (not pressures) them.

Start With Care, Not Correction

Nobody wants to feel like a problem to be solved. If someone is struggling, what they usually need first is to feel seen and safe.

Instead of jumping straight into advice or solutions, begin with a simple reflection:

• “It seems like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately.”

• “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter than usual. I just want you to know I’m here for you.”

This creates emotional safety and shows them your concern comes from love, not judgment.

Gently Open the Door to Therapy

Once you’ve acknowledged their pain or stress, you can introduce the idea of therapy in a gentle and supportive way.

Try something like:

• “Have you ever thought about talking to someone? Sometimes it helps to have a neutral person, who’s trained in helping people process, to support you.”

• “You don’t have to be in crisis to try therapy. It can be a space to work things out at your own pace.”

Framing therapy as a tool, not a fix, can reduce shame and resistance.

Normalize the Experience

A lot of people hesitate to seek therapy because they think it means something is “wrong” with them. You can help reduce that stigma by reminding them that therapy is normal and valid.

Try:

• “Therapy is something more and more people are doing. It’s not about being broken, it’s about being supported.”

• “It’s like going to a doctor for your mind. It can be really relieving to have that space and have someone help you with figuring out what's going on.”

If you’ve been to therapy and it helped you, consider sharing your experience briefly. It can go a long way in reducing fear or stigma.

What If They Tried Before and Didn’t Like It?

This is common, and it’s a very real barrier. A mismatch between therapist and client can leave someone feeling like therapy just isn’t for them.

You might say:

• “I remember you tried therapy before and it didn’t feel helpful. That makes sense...finding the right person is really important.”

• “It’s okay to try again. Sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find someone who really gets you.”

You can also offer practical support, like helping them search for someone new, if they’re open to it. Some places, like here at White Stone, will offer free consultations to determine if it is a good fit before even beginning the therapeutic process.

What Not to Say (and what to say instead!)

Here are a few phrases you should avoid, and some options to try instead.

Avoid Saying:

• “You really need therapy.”

• "You obviously can't handle this on your own."

• “Why can’t you just get over it?”

• “You’re being dramatic.”

• "If you don't get help, things are just going to get worse."

• "You're making life hard for everyone around you. You should see someone."

• "Therapy will fix you."

Instead, Say:

• “I care about you, and I wonder if talking with a therapist could give you some extra support."

• “You’ve been carrying so much; therapy could be a safe place to share the load."

• “It makes sense that this is still weighing on you. A therapist could help you find ways to move forward.”

• “What you’re feeling is real, and you deserve a safe space to talk about it.”

• “Getting support now could help things feel lighter and give you tools for the future.”

• “I want you to feel better, and I think therapy could be one way to help with that.”

• “Therapy can be a place to heal, grow, and feel more like yourself again.”

The way we say things matters. The goal is to leave the door open, not shut it with shame.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if they get angry or defensive?

Honestly, that can happen. Try not to take it personally. Stay grounded and remind them you’re bringing this up because you care. If they’re not ready, that’s okay. Leave the door open.

What if they say they don’t believe in therapy?

Some people hesitate because they think therapy won’t work, or they’ve heard negative stereotypes. You can acknowledge their doubts while still affirming the value: “I get that you’re unsure. A lot of people feel that way at first, but many find it surprisingly helpful once they try.” 

Remind them it doesn’t have to be a lifetime commitment, just a conversation to see if it feels useful.

How do I know if it’s serious enough to bring up therapy?

Therapy isn’t only for crisis; many people go simply because they feel stuck, overwhelmed, or want extra tools for everyday life. If your loved one is showing ongoing distress, withdrawing from things they usually enjoy, or struggling to cope, it’s okay to suggest therapy as a supportive next step.

That said, if they are talking about suicide, self-harm, or seem unable to stay safe, that calls for immediate help. Outpatient therapy is designed for regular support, but higher levels of care - such as crisis hotlines, hospital programs, or residential treatment - are available when safety is at risk. In those moments, encourage them to call 911 (and if they are in danger and refuse to do so, you can call for them!), go to the nearest emergency room, or reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline right away.

What if cost is a barrier?

It’s natural to feel concerned about the expense of therapy. You can validate that and gently encourage them to think of it as an investment in their health and future:

“I know therapy costs money, and that’s a real consideration. But your mental and emotional health is just as important as your physical health, and getting the right support now can prevent things from getting heavier or harder later. Sometimes it’s worth making room in the budget for something that can bring real relief and change.”

Remind them that unlike many expenses, therapy is not just a bill: it’s a step toward feeling more like themselves again, finding tools that last a lifetime, and strengthening the relationships and areas of life that matter most.

What if I want to suggest therapy to a teen or young adult?

Because teens are balancing independence with still needing support, therapy can feel especially loaded for them. Teens may resist therapy because they fear being judged, worry their privacy won’t be respected, or simply want more control over their lives.

You might say: “I know it can feel weird or even uncomfortable to talk to someone you don't know. You get to decide what you share, and it’s really just a safe space for you, kind of like having a coach who helps you sort through things without judgment. You don’t have to commit forever; you can just try it and see if it feels helpful.”

Start with validation, acknowledge that what they’re carrying is a lot, and frame therapy as a safe, judgment-free space (like a coach or mentor) where they set the pace. If they’re hesitant, ease fears by explaining what to expect, connect it to their own goals, and leave the door open without pressure.

How long does someone usually stay in therapy?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people benefit from just a few sessions to work through a specific issue, while others choose ongoing therapy for deeper healing or long-term support. At White Stone, we also offer intensives, where someone can process a lot in just a few hours in one day or over a shorter series of sessions. For others, weekly therapy provides steady support and growth over time. The length really depends on your goals and what feels most helpful. You and your therapist can decide together what pace works best.

Offer Help Without Taking Over

Sometimes the hardest part is just figuring out how to start. Offering small amounts of practical support can make therapy feel more approachable.

You might say:

• “If you want, I can help you look for someone.”

• “There’s a place I trust with really good therapists. I can send you the link if you want it.”

Just be sure not to take over or pressure. Let them set the pace.

If They're Not Ready

Even with a gentle and loving approach, they may not be ready...and that’s okay. The best thing you can do is to remind them you’re here, no matter what.

You could say:

“No pressure at all. Just wanted you to know I care, and I’ll support you however I can.”

Sometimes just knowing the option is there makes all the difference.

Suggesting therapy to someone you love isn’t easy, but it can be a powerful act of care. If they’re not ready, that’s okay. And if they are, your words might be the encouragement they need.

And if you’re reading this and realizing that maybe you’re the one who’s been putting off therapy, here’s your gentle nudge. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay if your last experience wasn’t what you hoped for. There are therapists out there who want to meet you where you are.

You deserve support, too.

Looking for someone who really listens?

We’re here to help. Reach out to start a conversation- no pressure, just support.

Schedule your free consultation today.